Koo-Sempai (koomaster) wrote,

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Whatever you do, don't run. Or....Silly Rabbit, Tequilla shots are for college kids

Boy where to begin on Saturday's events? Well the interesting part of Saturday began when I was invited to Julie's room to watch the "E! True Hollywood Story" on Roseanne. Yeah fun! Then it happened, Mere Pear IMed Julie inviting us to come with her to go steal street signs and have some rum and cokes. We of course agree to this outrageous plan, since hey, we are college kids and in the dictionary it says that college kids do outrageous erratic irrational things that often land them in a heap of trouble! So we wander on over to Mere's place. When I get there I decide not to have any alcohol because I don't particularly like rum and coke, however Julie has some, and Mere has Tequilla. Any guesses where alcohol leads.....more alcohol. Then the fun starts as me, a slightly drunk Julie, and a really drunk Mere head on our quest for street signs! We wander off campus towards Hunt to see Mere's friends first, but we can't get in because it is after 11 and Mere's friend isn't answering the phone. On a side note, cute gay guy comes along and checks me out (yeah baby)! He couldn't get in either, on hindsite I should have asked him to come with us cause I could have gotten laid but that is a moot point NOW! Wherever you are cute guy, much luvs!!!! I should have asked him his name when he asked "Do I know you, what's your name?" But me like a f*ck head ramble on about Enrique, because I thought he might be thinking that is who I am but anyway. The only clue I have about him is Hunt. I shall stalk this place in hopes of seeing him again one night. Damn me for not giving him my last name though, he could have easially found me, but now he has to search for every Greg in the student directory. Hope I run into him again, if I had been drunk I would have told him he was cute, HOLY SH*T he knows Jake, I remember Mere saying that this morning at breakfast. Anyway enough about the man of my dreams.... on with the rest of the tale. After we were denied access into Hunt we wandered down the street and Mere decided to steal our first sign. So she pulls out the adjustable wrench and starts at it, stopping periodically for cars passing. Then she decides she is too drunk to care about the cars and continues on with the sign, then I see the cop car like 20 or so feet away and I say "ok, a cop car!" Caos soon follows.... Mere leaves the wrench on the sign and starts to pretend to make out with me and falls to her knees, grabbing onto my waist. Julie starts to move around, and is looking across the parking lot we were beside for means of escape. I'm like thinking to myself, how do I get into these things, what the f*ck am I going to say to the cop (I'm the only sober one remember), Please dear God, whatever you do Julie, don't run. The cop turns the corner and pulls up right beside the sign, Mere at this point is barely standing up holding on to me, Julie is still moving around ready to run. Then the cop says
Cop - "Hey, are you guys alright?"
Me - "Uh... Yeah!"
Cop - "Gonna take her home ok?" (Refering to Mere)
Me - "Uh... Right!"
Cop - "Ok"
And the cop pulls away to a very happy group of college kids. The thing I don't understand is HOW THE HELL did the cop not notice the wrench hanging obviously off of the street sign? I don't know but I was glad she didn't. It would have been so funny (not at the time) if the wrench had of fallen off just as the cop started pulling away and had crashed though her car window. At that point, all bets would have been off, I'm sure everyone would have started running in opposite directions. I'd probably be somewhere lost in Williamsburg right now if that had happened.
By this point I was like ready to go back, figuring this was a sign, but Mere could not be pursuaded. We wandered the streets looking for signs, Julie (still drunk) was trying to be the voice of reason saying, "That sign is too big, big Mere, it won't fit in your backpack!" I was being the lookout for more cops and other onlookers. We came to another sign, which I'm trying to persuade Mere that "There are people in that car watching us, there are people right over there by that house watching us" Julie in the meantime is hiding behind some bushes while Mere is trying to loosen the nuts on the sign "Righty tighty, lefty loosy". Eventually after she kept dropping the wrench we decided to go back. However on our way Mere noticed another sign she wanted. On a little white fence there was a "Visitors Welcome" sign which was not screwed down, it was just hung there, so Mere took it and Julie helped her put it in her back pack. Well mission accomplished (I guess). But no my friends, the night does not end there like you would think it would..... We are on campus now and Mere decides she is hungry and that we should go to the Lodgel (Lodge 1), Julie insists that we must hurry because it closes in 5 min... 10 min later we get to the UC. Mere insists that to get to Lodge 1 we must go in the top "The special way" All the while Julie keeps insisting that it will close in 5 min, we get there ok, Mere order's food, pick it up and we eat outside since Lodge 1 finally closed. Mere whispers to me that "When I'm drunk, I'm horny, I'm horny now, so horny, don't let me have sex with Julie, If you let me have sex with Julie, I will castrate you, I'm serious!" I'm so very scared now, Mere is all over Julie, I cannot let this proceed any farther. I intervene being one of sober nature. After the much touchy feely drunken lust fest was broken up, Mere decided she needed coffee to sober her up, so we head to the UC to get cash from the ATM and off to get coffee, well that is no problem since we are right by the daily grind. But (why is there always a but?) the place is jammed packed with people because of some lame comedy night deal, so only one of us can go in. At this point college students is the test.... which one of the three people should go in and order coffee for Mere, should it be...
A. Mere herself
B. Julie
C. Greg

If you said A. Mere herself, you would be wrong. You are a perverted sick freak who feeds off of other people's pain. Who in there right minds would send a completly drunk person into a room of crowed people to order her own coffee with a $20 dollar bill she keeps dropping cause she can't hold on to it! You failed horribly if you picked this answer...
If you picked C. Greg, you would still be wrong, but it was a nice try. Use common logic people. If I had went into the daily grind and left Mere and Julie by themselves, this would have just given Mere the opportunity to fondle all over Julie even more. I was not about to be castrated this evening ladies and gentlemen....
If you picked B. Julie, you are correct! Because this separates her and Mere, and Julie while drunk was not as drunk as Mere was and thusly could communicate and hold onto a $20 bill, it also allows the sober one to watch over the most drunk of the group. This is the smart answer... If you chose this one, then you are prepared for outrageous college adventures!
While waiting on Julie to come back, I was trying to keep Mere upright, even tho she did mangage to trip on some garbage bags I helped her back up. Then my friend Adrian came out of the grind and I said hi to him as I had my arm around Mere, I felt at this moment I needed to clarify the fact that I am not "with" her, I dont' want to give anyone the wrong impression that I'm straight, I'm gay yo. so I say "Oh, I'm just babysitting this one", at least he caught on.
Julie manages to come back successful with Green Tea Chai, and we go on our merry way, avoiding the cop in front of the grind and his cop car. Then Mere remembers she wanted to go to the bathroom in the grind, so we decide instead to head back to the UC to use their bathrooms... we all decide go to the bathroom together, I thought why the hell not, no one is around, I have to watch over these two, so I follow them into the bathroom (girls bathrooms are strage places, I must say, I did remember to put the seat back down ladies - clapping can be heard). So we are standing by the sinks talking ready to leave, and as if we hadn't gotten into enough trouble, a UC attendant comes in and tells us that the building is closing, she didn't mention anything about me tho, which is good. We leave and take Mere back to her dorm room, we all spend the night in peaceful slumber... The End?

No silly, we had to wake up too. The only thing we did this morning tho is play around with stuffed animals and go to breakfast. Oh and Mere has since decided to take the sign back because it was someone's that they made and it didn't belong to the government, blah.... all that running around for nothing, well not really I got a good story out of it I guess, and that is really what matters right? Yes indeed! To hear this story from another perspective, and with details I might have left out, be sure to visit Julie's journal, just search for sapphos_lover. My quote for this entry.... "Good Grief, how do I get myself into these things?!" - Charlie Brown" ~ Koo-Sempai
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